What attachment parenting means to me

I'll admit, when I had my first baby, the thought of attachment parenting terrified me! I had this picture in my head of these amazing women who had their happy babies in their arms constantly, perfectly clean houses, well juggled lives who never ever lost their temper or needed a 5 minute breather to themselves. Whilst I know these types of women probably exist (kudos to you ladies!), it's not always a realistic image of what attachment parenting is, or rather what I find attachment parenting means!

When I had my babies I was really young, 18 for my first and 21 for my second and my well-meaning family felt the need to tell me how to do everything. Many aspects of attatchment parenting that I loved the look of or liked the idea of, I was (stupidly) talked out of. Obviously they meant well, but I was born in the early 90's where formula feeding and 'crying-it-out' seemed to be 'the way to parent'. I was constantly told various things such as "leave him to cry, he'll learn to become independent", "you'll make a rod for your back if you keep picking him up" and I quote "he needs a bottle of formula, that way he'll get the nutrients he needs, to grow some more hair". I have my lovely mother in law to thank for the latter as my little man was a baldy. Well, baldy and proud!

Getting to three months of breastfeeding with my first, was a massive and difficult achievement for me. We were having so much trouble with feeding, persistent thrush, reoccurring mastitis and tongue tie amongst these, and I was getting barely any support at home from family. I must admit my mother and husband were amazing throughout this!

By my second baby, I had become as stubborn as anything. I was going to breastfeed and babywear and do what I felt was best for my little one! This time, I did my own research and I knew what had worked for the first time.

Attachment parenting, or at least the concept of it, brought me to baby-wearing, cloth nappies and opened me up to the concept that my baby isn't just a crying, pooping, time-consuming little creature, but a little human being who knows nothing of the world. I had never really thought about how it must feel to be a baby, and I don't think many do, after all we don't remember these years. I can't imagine not understanding what's going on around me, not being able to communicate through words of any kind or not being able to do simple things such as eat, change and clean myself. It made me realise how being close to my baby is what she needs and how letting her 'lead' the way is so beneficial to her in terms of her independence.

Attachment parenting to me, means giving my baby everything I possibly can and everything she needs, in a way that suits her. It means cuddles at 3am when she's teething, over-tired or even just needing my warmth. It means carrying her in her sling next to my heart because its a familiar sound and it's the only place she will nap in the day. It means not letting her cry it out, because I can't bare the thought of her thinking I'm not there or that I don't always have her back.

It means what you take from it. Whether that be baby wearing, co-sleeping, breast-feeding into toddlerhood and beyond. I probably don't class as a die hard attachment parent (if that exists) but it has definitely opened me up to understanding my baby more and seeing everything from her point of view. This time around I've learnt to dismiss my family and friends telling me that I'm making a rod for my back... I'd rather that and a happy girl than a stressed and upset baby.

After all, they're only babies for a short time. The 3am cuddles don't last forever, and I certainly don't want to look back in years to come, wishing I held them for longer, cuddled them closer or studied their ever-changing features more often.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Leave me a comment below about what attachment parenting means to you, and how or if it has changed the way you think about parenting since discovering it!
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5 ways to use cloth nappies on a budget

When I first starting cloth-bumming, I was on maternity leave, earning much less than my normal wage and trying to save as much money as possible and I know many are also in a very similar situation. Cloth-bumming is often described as a way to save money and 'cheaper in the long run' and whilst all of these are true, I know many who have decided against cloth because of the initial cost.

If I'm honest, cloth-bumming wasn't an overnight revelation for us and it took us a good few months to build up our stash (which is still very small compared to some I've seen) and the same amount of time to have my little girl in these majority of the time. The picture below is about 80% of our stash (I have some more on the way - it's so addictive!)

 

Buy nappies preloved

A lot of my nappies have come from preloved sites including pages on facebook, and they are brilliant. This a perfect solution for if you're wanting to try as specific brand, as more often than not someone has one or two lying around which they don't use. Some of my Miosolos (bottom shelf) cost as little as £3-4 before postage which is a fraction of the cost to buy brand new which is normally around £15 depending on the site/shop.

Have a good look online for cheaper prices

Keep an eye out for offers as well. All of my new nappies have been bought on offer, as I just can't afford to pay the full price. For those in the UK, Tesco stock white Miosolos for £7 each on their website which is fab if you aren't too bothered by the print. My Totsbots were bought in an event on the makers page before Christmas, costing £8.50 each instead of the usual £16 (depending on site). I have also noticed many sites also have offers on depending on the time of year (black Friday, Christmas etc) which can usually get you a few ££'s off.

Some real nappy sites that I've seen also have their own 'preloved' sale pages where they sell off ex-display or also old prints that are no longer stocked.

Sign up to real nappy websites

Many websites give you a discount code for signing up to their website which can be anything up to 15%

Check your local supermarkets and baby shops

It seems cloth bumming is becoming more and more popular so it's also worth looking at baby events in your local supermarkets, as a lot are starting to stock real nappies lately. For example my local Morrison's in the town centre and the Waitrose in the next town all stock Miosolos. I haven't ever seen these for much less than retail price apart from one store, but it does save your postage costs from buying online.

Check with your local council for incentives

Many local councils in the UK run incentive schemes or money back schemes, which allow you to claim back some of the money from purchasing your nappies. These depend on your local council but it's definitely worth looking into. My local council give packs of two nappies or a £25 voucher if you spend £50 (including preloved nappies)

For those in the UK and looking into cloth nappies, there's LOTS of information, along with a list of local cloth nappy libraries where you can borrow and try different nappies to find what works for you on this website: http://www.goreal.org.uk/uk-cloth-nappy-library-network