Parenting is hard. The hardest thing I've ever done in fact, and one of the biggest things that I have learnt is that every parent is different. What might work for you, may be another parents nightmare, so taking others advice all the time isn't always the best idea. Learning what works for you and your baby is a big part of this journey.
These are my realistic top tips for staying sane during the infamous 'fourth trimester' ... and of course beyond. Not so much advice and what you should be doing for your baby, but tips on how to 'save you sanity', after all learning what your baby needs and getting into your own routine is all part of the fun. Hopefully these tips help you along the way.
1. Remember to eat
It's difficult to get back into any sort of routine when you're so focused on your new little one. With feeds, changing bottoms and attempting to keep the house moderately clean it can be really easy to forget to eat properly. I remember my midwife telling me "don't forget to eat" and I thought what a silly thing to say, but she was so right. I got to a point where I was only just getting two small meals a day and as a result, my supply dropped and I just became so drained. Always try to eat your three meals and snacks, especially if you're breastfeeding. My husband used to work evening shifts, so I used to turn up at my mums, baby and toddler in tow, on days I couldn't be bothered to cook and she'd cook us all a nice hot dinner while we relaxed in the living room (definite pro of having a new baby, she wouldn't do it now! haha)
2. Sleep when you can
Everyone kept telling me 'sleep when the baby sleeps' which if like me, this isn't your first child, is the most annoying nugget of advice ever! As soon as I got my newborn down for a nap, my 3 year old would have a line of activities ready for some quality time (which was lovely, don't get me wrong), so sleeping when my baby slept DEFINITELY wasn't an option. If this is your first baby sleep peacefully in the knowledge it isn't like this next time!
In the end I started to sleep where I could. If my husband wasn't doing overtime, I'd go get an hour or so nap or even at 7am when the kids went to bed, I'd go too. At first this seemed to ridiculous to me, as I wanted some sort of me-time, but when you think about it, catching up with the soaps or your favourite TV show can wait, sleep is important and any chance you get, get as much as you can!
3. Go to baby groups
Having a baby can make you feel really isolated, especially in the week when all your friends and family are at work, so going to your local baby groups can be a really good way to not only pass time but meet some other mothers in the same position as you. It can be nice to go to a weekly group and have something to look forward to or somewhere you can go and have an adult conversation. It's also gives you a good excuse to get out of the house and get some fresh air.
4. Accept as much, or as little, help as you want
I'm quite a stubborn mummy and like to do as much as I can on my own, much to my husbands annoyance, but I wish I had accepted some more help off my family, when having both my babies. Even if it's your great aunt popping round to do a load of washing for you, or your mum coming to wash the dishes, or if you're incredibly lucky, a friend coming to take baby for a walk in their pram, allowing you to get a nap, take it! Most of the people offering you help, have probably been through it and will understand how tiring a new baby can be, so don't feel guilty when they offer help.
5. Try to have some sort of me time, daily
My little girl is a very difficult baby. We've had problems from the start with a number of things including acid reflux, so she wouldn't allow you to put her down for more than 10 minutes before screaming the house down. But, if I was lucky, she'd sit in her chair for 10 minutes happily, which allowed me just to get a shower. For months, that was my only me time, if that. I had quickly mastered a 2 minute rinse and wash, to get out before she had a meltdown.
If you're lucky enough to have a good napper, maybe pick up a hobby, read a book or watch something on TV. Having a little bit of me time can make you feel human again and make you feel refreshed.
It will get better! If you're pregnant or have just had your little one you've probably heard 'they'll be grown up before you know it' a million times already, and I hate to jump on the bandwagon... but it's so true! The first few months last only that, a couple of months, so don't worry about anything else other than you and your baby. Our first few months consisted solely of just surviving. My house was a mess (and still is thanks to my lovely hyperactive kiddies) but it's fine, as cleaning can wait. Enjoy your baby and make the most of every minute.
I hope this helps new mamas :) leave a comment on any other tips on the early days, if you have any and let me know what helped you.
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